Dads and Doulas, Part 2

Last week I posted about a few of the reasons dads are reluctant to hire a doula. This week I’ll focus on the financial considerations. During this time of financial uncertainty, concerns over expenses are valid and we all have them. One must weigh the benefits and see if the expense is really worth it.

Some men do have sticker shock when it comes to the cost of hiring a doula (this is especially so if they are the “saver” in the family!) . Just remember that I only require a deposit up front, the remainder of my fee is due around the end of the pregnancy. So this allows for the fee to be budgeted or even payments to be scheduled. When considering the cost of a doula (the national average is $500-600) one must realize the benefits that come from her presence.
Having a doula:

• tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications
• reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience
• reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction and cesarean delivery
• reduces the mother’s request for pain medication and/or epidurals

You may think that these benefits only apply to the laboring woman, however the impact of interventions such as a cesarean delivery do affect the partner (and newborn child) when their spouse:

• experiences more pain
• has a longer recovery time
• could experience complications related to the surgery

The may be the need for an extended leave of absence from work, more vacation time used or the need to hire someone for postpartum care. This is not to say that hiring a doula will exclude the chance of a cesarean completely, however, studies do show that having a doula present significantly lowers the risk of cesarean and other interventions. The emotional benefits of having a doula extend to all styles of birth.

Parents who hire a doula also report these benefits:

• Feel more secure and cared for
• Are more successful in adapting to new family dynamics
• Have greater success with breastfeeding
• Have greater self-confidence
• Have less postpartum depression
• Have lower incidence of abuse

It is also good to look at the total cost of birth and compare my fee ($275) to the cost of a vaginal birth and even the cost of a cesarean birth.  According to CostHelper.com:

For patients not covered by health insurance, the typical cost of a vaginal delivery without complications ranges from about $9,000 to $17,000 or more, depending on geographic location and whether there is a discount for uninsured patients. The typical cost for a C-section without complications or a vaginal delivery with complications ranges from about $14,000 to $25,000 or more.

A doula’s fee is a small fraction of the of the actual costs of serious intervention. It is money well invested when interventions are avoided or reduced.

Doulas make a difference by their mere presence: their comforting touch, encouraging words, knowledge and experience. The doula fills the gaps that often occurs due to hospital work load and labor constraints. Doulas also provide that cultural link to birth as a normal physiological event that is often missing in our society. All these things can be done with the father’s participation, and will indeed enhance the family bond. One could call it ‘peace of mind’, can you really put a price on that?

If you are a dad with questions about doula care, feel free to contact me for more information!

Pregnancy Blessings!

Brandi Monson

CD(DONA)

Serving Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma

Including the cities of: Independence & Coffeyville Kansas and surrounding areas.

 

U.S. Maternal Health Crisis Facts | Amnesty International USA

U.S. Maternal Health Crisis Facts | Amnesty International USA.

A powerful image of the state of maternal healthcare in this country.

” The total amount spent on health care in the USA is greater than in any other country in the world.1 Hospitalization related to pregnancy and childbirth costs some US$86 billion a year; the highest hospitalization costs of any area of medicine. 2 Despite this, women in the USA have a greater lifetime risk of dying of pregnancy-related complications than women in 40 other countries. For example, the likelihood of a woman dying in childbirth in the USA is five times greater than in Greece, four times greater than in Germany, and three times greater than in Spain.3 More than two women die every day in the USA from pregnancy-related causes.4 Maternal deaths are only the tip of the iceberg. Severe complications that result in a woman nearly dying, known as a “near miss”, increased by 25 per cent between 1998 and 2005. During 2004 and 2005, 68,433 women nearly died in childbirth in the USA. 5 More than a third of all women who give birth in the USA – 1.7 million women each year –experience some type of complication that has an adverse effect on their health.”

Read the entire report here.  This is not to scare women. On the contrary, women are able to make wise informed decisions in regards to their own healthcare if given the proper information.  It’s important for women to understand the state of maternal healthcare here in our own country so they can educate themselves and make informed healthcare decisions.

 

"If you don't know your options, you don't have any."
Diane Korte and Roberta Scaer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dads and Doulas

Part 1 of a 2 part series on Dads and Doulas.
Often times I hear that some dads can be reluctant about hiring a doula. They have many valid reasons: too expensive (during a time of extra expense and uncertainty), feels that the doula will interfere in the ‘intimacy’ of birth, some may feel like they will bet left out completely or the opposite that they may have to participate when they don’t want to.

Dads are wonderful creatures, I really mean that! They were designed to care for/about their spouses, be good providers and protectors. This same instinct can sometimes cast doubt on the presence of an ‘extra’ person in the birthing room. I’d like to reassure you that this (that’s me!) extra person has a beneficial presence!

Some dads want to be, and are, very active in the birthing experience. They want to be the one helping mom to focus, helping to facilitate her effective labor & birth, and I say “bravo”!! My job as a doula is to support mom and dad during labor and birth. If dad wants to participate in this capacity, then I am certainly there to help him do so. I can offer suggestions and provide assistance when needed to the dad who is very involved. Helping answer questions before hand and providing educational materials is a great way to help prepare dads for labor & birth. Remember that in our society, most women have little experience with labor and birth before they have their own children, and that is doubly so for men.

Other dads want to be there for their wives/partners, but don’t really want to be too involved. This is perfectly fine as well (remember it’s not my job to tell you what is right or wrong, but to help educate you and prepare you for the role you wish to take!). I take special care to include dad in the role he is comfortable without making him feel out-of-place.

Whatever level of participation that the father wants to have is between he and his spouse, I am there to help facilitate that partnership. Sometimes just role playing and going through the motions during pre-natal meetings goes a long way in equipping partners for their staring roll during labor & birth.

It is important to consider fathers when looking forward to the labor and birthing experience. They may not be doing the work of  ”delivering” but they play a very important role and should be commended for their participation! I applaud dads for being a supportive partner in birth!

Check back next week for part 2 which will focus on the ‘expense’ part!
Pregnancy Blessings!

Brandi Monson

CD(DONA)

Serving Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma

Including the cities of: Independence & Coffeyville Kansas and surrounding areas.

 

My Etsy Shop is Active!

After a much-needed sabbatical, my shop is back! Head over and check it out.

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Here’s a few of the new items I have listed. Besides the unique ready to wear pieces, there are now several Belly Blessing Kits to choose from. These are perfect for baby showers or mother blessing (Blessing Way) celebrations. You get the belly bead, 2 (or more) accent beads and cord to string on. Then each guest brings their own bead(s) to add to the mother’s necklace. Then she can wear it during labor or hang it as a focal point to help keep her focus during labor. A great keepsake that she can then hang with her belly cast or place in her baby’s album. A tangible reminder of this formative period in her life and the support of her female friends & family.
There are a few items more going in the shop this week. You’ll also find plenty of non-birth related pieces too, something for everyone!

Share it with your friends!

Your belly, your baby, your birth wear…

◊Brandi Monson◊

CD(DONA)

Serving Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma

Including the cities of: Independence & Coffeyville Kansas and surrounding areas.

 

Fall Openings Filling Up Fast!

I have openings left for late September, October and early November, grab ‘em while you can!

When I sign a client, I block out the two weeks before their EDD and one week past (as a general rule, since most area physicians get nervous past 40+ weeks) however I’m good until the baby is born!
If you’re interested in my services and see that your EDD is booked, please contact me and find out whether or not you can still be scheduled, there is usually a lot of wiggle room with reserved dates!

 

Brandi Monson

CD(DONA)

Serving Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma

Including the cities of: Independence & Coffeyville Kansas and surrounding areas.

 

May is International Doula Month

What a great idea! A whole month for Doulas. This is better than “Secretary’s Day” or Bosses Day since it is a whole month! May is also Pregnancy Awareness Month a perfect pairing wouldn’t you say?

During International Doula Month, I like to share with others about doulas and what we do. I especially like to share the benefits of having a doula as shown in the reduction of interventions.

Follow me on Facebook for regular posts regarding doulas!

Pregnancy Blessings & Happy Mother’s Day!!

Brandi Monson

CD(DONA)

Serving Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma

Including the cities of: Independence & Coffeyville Kansas and surrounding areas.

 

April is Cesarean Awareness Month

My goal during CAM is to educate women and their partners about unnecessary cesareans, offer cesarean support, recovery information and VBAC resources. In honor of CAM I am sharing ICAN’s white paper on Cesarean recovery.

Recovering From a Cesarean Birth: Tips on Healing

Cesarean birth is major abdominal surgery. New mothers need and deserve to have extra support during this special time of birth and healing. Women who have experienced either a planned or an unplanned cesarean section react to the surgery in very individual ways. Some women physically heal very quickly; others report that recovery took several weeks or even months. Avoid putting time limits on yourself. Emotionally, women’s feelings about their cesarean sections vary in range from acceptance, to disappointment, to devastation. Some women need as much emotional support as physical support for a healthy recovery. Each woman heals and grows into her new role of motherhood at her own pace. In time, you will regain your energy level and sense of well-being.

To Relieve Pain and Assist Physical Healing:

At hospital:

• Ask for physical assistance, and keep nurses’ call button within easy reach.
• Take pain medication as needed for comfort. Try to avoid pain medications containing codeine as they cause constipation, making it hard to void after cesarean surgery.
• If possible, obtain a private room so that a family member may remain with you.
• Use pillows to support your abdomen when turning, standing, coughing, and when feeding the baby.
• Rest as much as possible and limit visitors. Sleep when baby sleeps.
• Rock in a rocking chair as soon as possible after surgery to speed recovery and reduce gas.
• Take short walks.
• Eat nutritious food and drink plenty of fluids. Avoid cold and carbonated beverages.
• The surgery will slow down your digestive tract, to help with constipation, try an over-the-counter stool softener, NOT a laxative.
• Each time you stand after the surgery stretch up to uncramp stomach muscles and reduce adhesions.

 

At home:

• Have several diapering stations so you can change baby easily.
• Let others do household chores like cooking, cleaning, and laundry.
• Check the incision daily, or have someone check it for redness, which can be a sign of infection.
• Have a list to things that need done, so when people ask, you can remember what needs done.
• Take care of yourself and your baby only.
• Remember not to lift anything heavier than your baby.
• Stay in your pajamas, so people remember you are recovering from birth and surgery.
• On the other hand, sometimes taking a shower and getting dressed really does wonders psychologically. Even in the hospital, it can help to put on your OWN clothes.
• Keep the baby near you at night so you do not have to get up.
• Have a basket that you can carry easily with nutritious snacks, fingernail clippers, lotion, a book, and other little necessary things in it.
• Eat well and drink water freely. Have a pitcher of water or juice near you.
• If you have other children, secure assistance in caring for them from family and friends.
• Consider hiring a postpartum doula.
• Increase activity gradually.

 

To Promote Emotional Healing:

• Keep your baby near you as much as possible and get to know your new baby.
• Breastfeed your baby to promote bonding, and release beneficial mothering hormones.
• Share your feelings with others and talk about your experience as much as you feel necessary.
• It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions including relief, happiness, sadness, anger, and feelings of loss and failure.
• Write your baby’s birth story.
• Write letters to the hospital and your doctor, explaining what you did and did not like about your birth- you can mail them, or not, but it is beneficial to write your thoughts down.
• Seek support from available resources including breastfeeding, parental, and cesarean support groups.

 

Read books on natural childbirth, cesarean birth, and vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC). There are many varied reasons why a birth may have ended in a cesarean section. If you plan to have any more children, it is important for you to know that it is very likely you can have a vaginal birth next time. When you are ready to learn about VBAC, ICAN can help you find the information and support you need.

This may be copied and distributed with retained copyright.
© International Cesarean Awareness Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 

                                                                                                ©2002 ICAN, Inc.

 

Think SPRING!!

I find myself looking forward to spring more and more with each passing day. When the air temps are in the 60s, then plunge back to the 30s, it’s hard on my wishful thinking!

Spring means babies, lots of babies. As I doula I like to work with human babies but as a human I simply love seeing all of the new life that springs up during this season. New lambs, calves, foals, chicks…. I’m a sucker for a baby! How about you?

In honor of the soon coming of spring, I’m participating in the “Spring Blog Party” that Dancing Barefoot is hosting.

I need your help in this effort! Since the goal of the Blog Party is to ‘get to know’ each other a little better I have a question for you:

How would YOU describe MY personality? (only use ONE word.)

Then I’ll tell you if I think that you’re right!  Let’s have a little fun with this one! I can probably think of half a dozen words, I wonder how many of them you can guess? Post your single word attribute in the comments section of this post!

Enjoy yourself, be kind and have fun. Think SPRING!!

 

Doulas Aren’t Replacements

I have often heard that the reason a woman decides against having a doula is because she will have her partner/mother/sister with her during labor & birth. It is very important that a laboring woman have her partner/spouse and family supporting her! The laboring woman needs to feel the support and love of her family during this trans-formative time. The doula is not intended to be a replacement for these very important figures in the laboring woman’s life, on the contrary, the doula is an enhancement to their roles. [here's a great article about the role of the doula!]

The doulas role of support is very different from that of a spouse, mother or sister and both are quite important. Let’s take the mother ( or a sister), for instance, she has a deep emotional bond with the laboring woman. She can support her daughter through her love and their existing relationship. She can offer her labor advice and physical support. Oftentimes though, the supportive mother (or sister) only has her own personal experiences to draw from, unless she works in the health care field with other laboring women. This is where the doula comes to play.

The doula is specifically trained in labor support practices and techniques. Hours of training and professional development ensure that the doula has much to offer the laboring women in regards to labor positions, pain coping techniques, educational information besides the hands on application during labor and birth. In addition to this, the role of the doula goes well beyond the actual birth. The prenatal period when a woman and doula meet and discuss options, gather information and make plans for the birth is equally important. Many women see doulas as only there during the birth. It needs to be said that the preparation period is very important. If you do not know your options, you do not have any.

The other obvious difference between a family member and a doula is that the doula works for the laboring women. She has reserved her time and energy for just this purpose. There are no “family dynamics” with the doula. She is there in the birthing room to facilitate the effective laboring and birthing of her client, no other reason. She will not be offended if she is yelled at, asked to leave the room for privacy or puked on by the laboring woman. There is a comfort in this relationship of trust.

As a doula, I spend at least two prenatal visits with my clients. This is to build a relationship with them, to find out their birthing desires, to help prepare them for the birth. Time is spent going over laboring techniques and non-medical pain relief modalities. Educational materials are reviewed, questions are answered. It is practice, if you will, for birth. You cannot prepare yourself with information about induction at the moment that an induction is offered or suggested! This must be done prenatally.

Hospital Childbirth Classes, which I do suggest attendance to, often leave women with many questions. Many times these classes are meant to prepare a laboring woman for her experience giving birth at a certain hospital and they simply do not have the time or credentials to cover childbirth in its fullest. Doulas provide that additional information. I like my clients to ask lots of questions! If I don’t have the answer with me, I’ll get it! Then we both will be better educated!

The postpartum period is also very important for me as a doula. I stay up to two hours after the birth to assist the mother with anything that she may need; such as breastfeeding help. After mother and child are settled in and ready for me to depart, I take my leave. After the family is home during the first week I make another house call. This visit is to offer mom any help she may need with the newborn, to answer questions about her birthing experience or fill in any gaps in her memory about events. If needed I offer other postpartum services to help women spend as much time as they can with their newborn.

As a doula my role is also that of historian, helping to protect the memory of birth. Women that are so focused on laboring may have questions about things that happened and she doesn’t quite remember all the details. I am there to fill in those blanks.

Doulas, spouses, and other family members, can peacefully coexist in the birthing room. Not only can they coexist, but they can benefit the laboring mother with as much care and love as possible, after all, the laboring women should be pampered! She should be given every opportunity to have the best birth possible through education, emotional & physical support, and choices; that is the role of the doula.

Brandi Monson

CD(DONA)

Serving Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma

Including the cities of: Independence & Coffeyville Kansas and surrounding areas.

 

Affirming Words

The things that you think and say do affect your pregnancy. This time in your life is more important than ever to stay positive both in what you think and say. If you are struggling with negativity, print off some positive affirmations and post them around your home: on the bathroom mirror, at the computer, over the stove or on the fridge. Placing them in multiple places around your home increases your opportunity to read them and instill something beneficial into your thought life!  I will be sharing positive affirmations occasionally for your use.

◊My body was created for & is able to gestate, labor and give birth.◊

•My baby knows when to be born & will tell my body,

I trust in that.•

♥ I am patient and content in waiting for my baby to be born. ♥

Pregnancy Blessings!

Brandi Monson

CD(DONA)

Serving Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma

Including the cities of: Independence & Coffeyville Kansas and surrounding areas.